Mourning?

Marian Glaser © August, 2004

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Not being able to mount buses or climb stairs

makes me mourn both lost agility and other’s painful effort.

So many deaths have affected me that at times

one occurs while every moment is filled with pain

for acquaintances, friends and brothers.

Here death is talked about as a welcomed release but

leaves my life pattern disrupted as completely as

a laboriously woven web scattered by accident.

Why reweave? Why not retreat, give up all effort?

This path my wheelchair traces, this source of misguided pity,

has led to people and experiences so marvelous that

pain and disability seem a small entrance fee.

As others enter this barely known world,

often the anteroom of a death which can be

postponed but not prevented,

I have the choice to see people, make friends, or

ignore, harden, stop reaching out,

fearing pain and missing the joy

of meeting special people.